Secure attachment style

 

The best gift any parent can give their child. It is the safest and healthiest of the four major attachment styles. A secure attachment bond ensures that your child will feel understood, secured and calm enough to experience optimal development of his or her nervous system while an insecure attachment bond fails to meet your child’s need for security, understanding and calm. It also prevents the child’s developing brain from organizing itself in the beat ways. It may also leads to difficulties in learning and forming relationships in later life. What exactly is attachment bonding????

It is the emotional connection formed by wordless communication between an infant and YOU, their parent or primary caregiver. Therefore this attachment is NOT found on the quality of your care or parental love but on the NON VERBAL EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION you actually develop personally with your child. You have to create, build and nurture the attachment because it has to come naturally from within you.

Obstacles to creating a secure attachment attachment bond

  • Stress: At first, the stress appears when your child is an infant , you really love your baby no doubt but just that you are ill- equipped to meet the needs of your infant immature nervous system because they will always rely on you to calm them and soothe them and as they grow older, they need you as parents to be a source of safety and connection in order to ultimately secure an attachment but a stressed out mum or dad who managed to get home after a very busy day at work will not probably have the non verbal emotional communication, just want to get some rest and prepare for the next day.
  • Depression: When a parent or caretaker is in a depressed mood. Absolutely, the calmness and presentation that your child’s need either for their physical, emotional or their intellectual development may suffer.
  • Distractions of daily life: Electronic gadgets like cell phones, computers, TV and many other distractions of life can prevent you from giving your full attention to your child. Responding to urgent calls and text messages or zooming out in front of the TV with your child. All these reduces the non verbal communication between you and the child.